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soulcrusheri was supposed to be studying but instead i told myself i would read
i was supposed to be reading but ended up talking with my sister about prom
the very idea of prom gives me a lot of social anxiety, and i don't know how i'd cope with it bc my exams are nearly coming up (a-levels).
honestly, i'm considering not going... i went in year 11 and abso-fucking-lutely hated it :(
funny thing is, i know what kind of person i want to channel but i have no idea how to do it so instead i live my life vicariously through others who exhibit the sort of life i'd like to lead myself.
and part of the reason for this is bc i have strict parents.
it's funny how i'll share all sorts of bullshit online for nobody to read but struggle to tell my best friends the smallest of things.
ig it's because shouting out to the void in a busy crowd is technically safer for your secrets than whispering everything clearly for someone to hear, and potentially betray you. everyone's surrounding you but it's not like anyone is *really* paying attention, which is good.
to be honest, i'm not sure what purpose this journal is meant to serve for me because i already have a physical one.
i really like customisation, but it's hard to do that in a physical journal. perhaps i'll try that out, see if that scratches the customisation itch.
i have to decorate everything, and i don't know why T_T
perhaps i'll dedicate this blog to finding out who i am and what i truly like, because right now, i don't really know lmao
i might not be here very often because i have a habit of telling myself i need a purpose before i actually fulfill a task.
i was a big mcr fan... but i'm disappointed in the direction the band seems to be taking nowadays. constant tours, no music. tickets up to £800, dynamic pricing? cryptic messaging every couple of months aimed to sell yet another performance? they're not too far away from selling cars on tv, but it's like they don't know it yet.
lowkey i miss when i was a fangirl, but i might talk about that another time. now i feel so dead inside lol... i need hobbies.
there's a button which says "embed media" but i'm not sure if it works with like "autoplay", if ykwim...
-soulcrusher :)
i was supposed to be reading but ended up talking with my sister about prom
the very idea of prom gives me a lot of social anxiety, and i don't know how i'd cope with it bc my exams are nearly coming up (a-levels).
honestly, i'm considering not going... i went in year 11 and abso-fucking-lutely hated it :(
funny thing is, i know what kind of person i want to channel but i have no idea how to do it so instead i live my life vicariously through others who exhibit the sort of life i'd like to lead myself.
and part of the reason for this is bc i have strict parents.
it's funny how i'll share all sorts of bullshit online for nobody to read but struggle to tell my best friends the smallest of things.
ig it's because shouting out to the void in a busy crowd is technically safer for your secrets than whispering everything clearly for someone to hear, and potentially betray you. everyone's surrounding you but it's not like anyone is *really* paying attention, which is good.
to be honest, i'm not sure what purpose this journal is meant to serve for me because i already have a physical one.
i really like customisation, but it's hard to do that in a physical journal. perhaps i'll try that out, see if that scratches the customisation itch.
i have to decorate everything, and i don't know why T_T
perhaps i'll dedicate this blog to finding out who i am and what i truly like, because right now, i don't really know lmao
i might not be here very often because i have a habit of telling myself i need a purpose before i actually fulfill a task.
i was a big mcr fan... but i'm disappointed in the direction the band seems to be taking nowadays. constant tours, no music. tickets up to £800, dynamic pricing? cryptic messaging every couple of months aimed to sell yet another performance? they're not too far away from selling cars on tv, but it's like they don't know it yet.
lowkey i miss when i was a fangirl, but i might talk about that another time. now i feel so dead inside lol... i need hobbies.
there's a button which says "embed media" but i'm not sure if it works with like "autoplay", if ykwim...
anyways... good night. stay safe. stay sane.
-soulcrusher :)
